


i put a spell on you ('cause you're mine)

by thisismelodrama



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, But he will die lol, But make it A/B/O, Curse Breaking, F/M, He's her Beta husband, Inspired by Practical Magic, Knotting, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mentions of death and grief, Minor Armitage Hux/Rey, Omega Rey (Star Wars), Practical Magic AU, Rey and Kaydel are Witches and Jyn and Cassian are their parents, Scenting, Spells & Enchantments, Witch Curses, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:29:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26915911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismelodrama/pseuds/thisismelodrama
Summary: “Mom died of a broken heart, didn't she?” Rey asks.“The bond Jyn had with Cassian wastranscendentandrare. That's what it means to beperfect mates,” Amilyn replies, a slight tremor in her voice. “When that bond is severed, when it suffers irreparable damage like death, it's unavoidable that the other half dies, too.”In which Rey is part of a family of witches that have a terrible secret: any man who dares to fall in love with an Erso woman will be cursed. To avoid her mother’s fate, she casts a spell to protect herself so she’ll never die of a broken heart.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 71
Kudos: 184
Collections: Reylo Halloween Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is what I've been working for the past few weeks. I planned to actually post it on the 31th, but my friends on Slick Queens told me this is a Halloween fic, and although I am not sure if it's gonna be finished by the end of the month, I hope y'all come along with me on this ride! If you've watched the movie, this will be a lot different, I think. And this is also my first time writing A/B/O and I've been playing around with the worldbuilding, so it may not be what you're used to, but I still hope you enjoy it. 💕 Also, tags are still to be updated as I write the story, but please let me know if I've missed any and I'll **happily** add them, seriously! 
> 
> This fic wouldn't be readable without the help of my darling friend [maddy](https://twitter.com/darthswift13)! 💕 Thank you so much for putting it up with my annoying ass, ilysm 💕
> 
> I plan to update it weekly and comments and kudos are literally the best motivator, so don't forget to say if you liked it 💕💕

_For every evil under the sun,_

_There is a remedy, or there is none._

_If there be one, seek till you find it,_

_if there be none, never mind it._

**_MOTHER GOOSE_ **

_**  
  
**_

“ _For more than two hundred years, we Erso women have been blamed for everything that has ever gone wrong in this town_ … _It doesn't matter if logic could explain it. If it happened in Takodana, the women from the white house on Yavin St. must have done it._ ”

_**  
  
**_

The white house in question stood tall, imposing, almost as if it had a life of its own, with its white picket fences enveloped by climbing plants that grew wild and unrestricted beyond the porch. Its somber appearance added suspicion to the many rumors that went around the town, scaring the neighbors and keeping them away from it.

_**  
  
**_

They’re having dinner outside—a long table is set in the garden, filled with Rey and Kaydel’s favorite foods: roast chicken, a side of mashed potatoes with corn and green beans, and chocolate cake for dessert. It's a lovely fall night in Takodana—not too hot or too cold. A cool breeze from the sea sweeps over the tops of the tattered trees in the garden, dangling its leaves, and the sky is blue and clear. The moonlight illuminates the garden and casts a pretty glow over the table, and Rey loves to see how it glows on her skin, too. 

_**  
  
**_

Even so, Amilyn’s tone is calm, controlled. Like she's just going on about her day or sharing trivialities about her life with a neighbor she bumps into at the booze aisle of the grocery store. Definitely not like she's explaining how Larma Erso, Rey and Kaydel’s great-great-great-grandmother, after being accused of being a witch and sentenced to death by hanging, magically escaped such an unpleasant ending, bewildering every single villager present there to attend to her hanging.

_**  
  
**_

“Why did people hate her?” Kaydel asks in a small voice.

_**  
  
**_

Amilyn sighs, a sad expression clouding her face. She takes a sip of her wine before answering, “An unmated Omega in the village suddenly showing up pregnant raised a lot of questions, a lot of mistrust. A lot of judgment. Of course, don't get me wrong, because this was by no means Larma’s fault. She trusted the wrong Alpha,” her face twists into a scowl, “who made promises he, unfortunately, didn't intend to keep.”

_**  
  
**_

This time, it’s Rey who asks a question, over-eager to know more of what she’s _really_ curious about. “Was she really a witch? Did she really have powers? Could she make people drop dead with a snap of her fingers?”

_**  
  
**_

Rey’s questions bring a burst of laughter out of her aunties. 

_**  
  
**_

She frowns. See, the talk about Alphas, Betas, and Omegas doesn’t interest Rey in the slightest. She’s _already_ aware everyone has a designation, that Alphas and Omegas sometimes smell heavenly to each other; and that their coming together is something as old as the Earth and that in turn, they build a connection stronger than the Universe itself. She doesn't _care_ about any of that, especially because she already had _The Talk_ about it with her mom. She remembers vividly how hard she blushed when her mom sat down with her and Kaydel and discussed it all in clinical, precise terms: presentation; slick; cycle heats; scent and mating glands; scent marking; bites; mating; and explaining exactly what each term meant afterward. 

_**  
  
**_

It was just so _overwhelming_. Too much information—all of which completely freaked Rey out. Suddenly, her wish to be a grown-up diminished; she never felt so glad to still be twelve and that there was still a long way to go until she presented. Regardless, every day since that talk, she silently hoped with her whole heart that she presented as a Beta, just like her aunties. And that with no inconveniences, she could live just an ordinary life. 

_**  
  
**_

Although the talk about Larma’s misfortune with an Alpha made a fiery rage burn inside her, she couldn't deny that she has always been more interested in the mysteries that surround her family. The things her mom tried to hide from Rey and her sister while they lived in Scarif. Like, why did things sometimes suddenly float when she came into the room? Why did some things around her suddenly break in her outbursts of anger? Why did she always feel like there was a living, breathing force inside her, humming in her veins, begging for her attention, for freedom? 

_**  
  
**_

Her Auntie Harter’s voice takes Rey out of her trance. “She was a which, yes. The first in our family. It was her gift that saved her,” she explains. “But Rey, darling, we're not creatures of evil. It's not like anything in the movies or books—we’re beings of light. So, no, she couldn't make anyone drop dead with a snap of her fingers—not without summoning dark forces or messing with something greater and powerful than us.” She points a finger to Rey and Kaydel as a warning. “Now that’s just asking for trouble.”

_**  
  
**_

“I don't get it, then, Auntie Amilyn,” Kaydel murmurs and turns her attention to her Auntie. “If she wasn't an evil witch like the movies and she has done no harm… If she was good, why would people wish for her death?”

_**  
  
**_

Amilyn gives Kaydel a fond, wistful smile. She reaches for Kaydel’s face and runs her thumb on her cheek. “They feared her because she was gifted and some people are just afraid of what they can't explain, sweetie. What they can’t control.”

_**  
  
**_

Suddenly, Rey feels too much sorrow for her ancestor, an ache that settles and tugs at her heart. “What happened to her? After she escaped?” 

_**  
  
**_

“Well, they banished her to this very island and stayed here. Despite knowing it wouldn't happen, she kept waiting for her Alpha to come back and claim her, so they could raise their baby together..” Amilyn’s eyes were on Rey, but it felt like she wasn't really looking at her. Instead, she seemed lost in another time, reliving an experience she didn't really partake in. “It was all in vain,” she continues, “because he never came. And one day, when the baby was coming, she was in such distress that in the midst of the pain, grief, and bitterness, she spewed out a vow to herself…”

__

“What was the vow?” Rey noisily asks, interrupting her Auntie.

_**  
  
**_

“ _I will never let myself feel the agony of love. Ever again_ ,” Harter announces in a spooky, funny voice. 

_**  
  
**_

Kaydel laughs. Rey doesn’t. 

_**  
  
**_

“So powerful were her words and her magic, the vow became a curse—one that passed through to all the women in the family that came after her,” Amilyn continues. “A curse on anyone who dared to love an Erso woman.”

_**  
  
**_

A sad, understanding silence falls upon them. Rey fiddles with the food on her plate, feeling like she lost her appetite all of a sudden. After a while, she gazes up at her Auntie Amilyn and whispers, “Is that why dad died? Because of the curse?”

_**  
  
**_

Amilyn’s face looks forlorn when she gazes back at Rey. “Yes, my darling.”

_**  
  
**_

“Your mom tried to stay away from her magic ever since she was a little girl. But it couldn't be avoided,” Harter explains. “When the time came, she knew. She heard the beetle ticking for your dad’s death all day long. Jyn knew that when you hear the sound of the deathwatch beetle, the man you love is condemned to die.”

_**  
  
**_

Rey remembers like it was yesterday, their last day as a family. Every Sunday, her mom enjoyed having a picnic on the beach. _Sunday is a family day_ , _girls_ , she used to tell them. And every time her dad picked up his truck and helped them inside—his favorite girls in the whole world, he used to say—, telling stupid jokes whilst he drove, making her and Kaydel squeal with laughter. She remembers playing with her dad on the sand, while her mom braided Kaydel’s hair. And then after, they would wrestle with their dad while her mom looked at them with a wide smile on her face. Rey sees that smile in her mind a lot whenever she thinks of happiness. To her, her mom had never been happier as she was whenever they were on the beach, all four of them together. Their perfect little family.

_**  
  
**_

“Mom died of a broken heart, didn't she?” Rey asks.

_**  
  
  
**_

“The bond Jyn had with Cassian was _transcendent_ and _rare_. That's what it means to be _perfect mates_ ,” Amilyn replies, a slight tremor in her voice. “When that bond is severed, when it suffers irreparable damage like death, it's unavoidable that the other half dies, too.” 

_**  
  
**_

Rey recalls how it happened gradually: after their dad died, it was like their mom wasn't the same person anymore. Her skin was paler, she lost the gleam she had in her eyes whenever their dad was around, and she barely even spoke to her and Kaydel anymore. And then one day, out of the blue, their mom told them they were going to make a trip to Takodana, to visit their aunties. Back then, Rey remembers she felt something prickling at her skin—like there was something whispering inside her that that was the last time she would ever see her mom. 

_**  
  
**_

And in the end, it really was. Her gut—now Rey’s aware it's her _magic_ —was right. It’s like their dad’s death marked their mom’s demise: she faded away slowly until one day she wasn't there anymore. She became nothing but bittersweet memories.

_**  
  
**_

Rey glances at Kaydel, sitting in front of her. With just one look, she knows her sister is remembering the same thing. Their connection is just that strong. In a way, it’s comforting—knowing there's someone else going through the exact same thing, sharing the same pain with you. Rey will never be alone, as long as Kaydel lives. 

_**  
  
**_

Still, the silence that fills the garden is uncomfortable. 

_**  
  
**_

“But that’s how you came to live with us,” Harter sings cheerfully, trying to make them smile.

_**  
  
**_

“Yes, we tucked you into our lives and we're raising you in the best way we can,” Amilyn adds.

_**  
  
**_

Rey and Kaydel share a knowing smile at that.

_**  
  
**_

And then Rey takes a long look at her aunties—with their long-sleeved printed shirts and flowery skirts and long, disheveled hair and the peculiar way they behave; they're so different from the more serious, put-together women in town. Yet, she wouldn’t change a single thing about them. She wouldn’t want it any other way.

_**  
  
**_

It's clear that they miss their parents. But living with their aunties isn’t bad. Not when they always say they can have chocolate cake for breakfast; or that they don't need a bedtime since they're almost teens now. Particularly, Rey loves how much her aunties enthusiastically encourage her and Kaydel to practice their magic. Whenever they feel depressed, longing for their parents , their aunties announce, hands up in the air, “Let’s go inside and do some spells!”

_**  
  
**_

Sensing the sad atmosphere involving them, Harter and Amilyn press their hands over their hearts. With a theatrical sigh, it's exactly what her aunties tell Rey and Kaydel they should do. 

_**  
  
**_

Rey gets up from the table and follows them inside, feeling _oh_ so grateful for in a sort of way, still having a family, and for magic. 

_**  
  
**_

_Especially_ for magic.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

Later that night, way past her bedtime, Rey is having her second slice of chocolate cake, the corners of her mouth all smudged with frosting, but she doesn't care. At the moment, she's focused on _Witchcraft For Beginners,_ flipping the pages slowly whilst she tries to light up a candle by blowing on it. Amilyn is preparing a Javarican espresso, softly humming an enchantment as the ingredients float in the air and dive straight inside into her coffee maker. 

  
  


Kaydel is perched upon the table, helping their Auntie Harter untangle balls of wool so she could get a head start on knitting their winter sweaters. 

  
  


“ _It takes me months to knit an impeccable sweater,_ ” Harter always says. “ _That’s why I always start knitting in the first week of fall.”_

  
  


When Rey asked why her Auntie didn't just use her magic to help her finish knitting the sweaters sooner, she just laughed it off. 

  
  


Which is something Rey can’t understand—as fascinated as she is with the prospect of doing magic as she pleases. 

  
  


After her eleventh attempt, after she perfectly balances the right amount of concentration to focus on the right amount of energy she has to flow out of her mind, Rey finally lights up the candle.

  
  


Her aunties scream in approval and satisfaction, making a faint blush dust Rey’s cheeks.

  
  


“You’re a natural, my darling,” Amilyn exclaims, taking a sip of her espresso.

  
  


“What about me?” Kaydel asks, narrowing her eyes at Auntie Amilyn.

  
  


“Don’t be jealous,” Rey says, smugly. Jokingly, she adds, “I’m two years older than you, of course I’m better.”

  
  


“You’re _sooooo_ annoying,” Kaydel replies and sticks out her tongue at Rey.

  
  


“Girls, no fighting, please,” Harter declares. “Both of you are naturals, it comes with being an Erso and—”

  
  


Suddenly, Harter is interrupted by a string of constant knocking on their door, her mouth pressing into a thin line. It doesn't escape Rey’s notice that her aunties share a furtive look. No one says anything. Rey feels slightly unsettled by the situation, and with just one glance at her Kaydel, she knows her sister feels the same. It's really, _really_ late, and knowing how the townspeople have been acting particularly violent lately, Rey can’t avoid the staggering fear that creeps in. 

  
  


The knocking continues, even more persistent this time around.

  
  


It’s Auntie Amilyn who breaks the silence. Clasping the coffee mug close to her heart, she mumbles firmly, “Girls, gather up your things and go practice in your rooms.”

  
  


At first, Rey is shocked that her Auntie is leaving her and Kaydel out of whatever situation is going on right now. They don’t really have boundaries for _anything_. 

  
  


But a stern look on Amilyn’s face tells Rey there's no room for arguments on her part. Slowly, she blows the candle out, picks up the book, and helps Kaydel off of the table. They climb the stairs steadily, without looking back at their aunties and making their way to their room, stopping just at the beginning of the corridor where they couldn't be seen. Crouching down and putting a finger on her lips, showing Kaydel she needs to be silent, Rey tries to hear what's going on downstairs. 

  
  


There's the sound of the door being opened, and her aunties hushed tones. Rey also hears some sniffing, so the person who just came inside must be crying. She doesn't hear much until the noise of the chair being pulled out from under the table and Auntie Amilyn’s reassuring, calming voice saying, “Just breathe, honey, you're gonna be okay.”

  
  


Rey frowns, wondering to _whom_ her Auntie is saying that since everyone hates their guts.

  
  


“It's just—he smells _so good_ ,” the unknown voice says between hiccups. “I just can't handle being around _Alpha_ ,” There’s a slight tremor in the voice after this word is out, something like interest and adoration, “And not being wanted in return.”

  
  


With Kaydel still behind her, Rey changes position from where she's crouching down on the floor slightly, peeking through the wooden handrail to see who the person is. It's a woman with pale skin and short, curly black hair. Rey recognizes her from the neighborhood, she has already seen her a few times when she and Kaydel went to school. 

  
  


It’s also obvious to Rey, after hearing the conversation, that that woman is an Omega. 

  
  


“It’s okay, darling,” Harter tells her in a soothing voice, her hand patting the woman’s right shoulder. “You’ll be okay, it'll pass.”

  
  


“ _No_ ,” the woman replies, an edge of desperation in her voice. “I _can't_ live without him. I’ve gotta have him. _Please._ I _need_ him to be _mine. Alpha_ has to be mine!” she finishes with a shout. 

  
  


A second later, she drops a stack of folded bills on the table, as if this is the last and the most significant incentive for Rey’s witch aunties to do whatever it is that Omega wants. 

  
  


She watches her aunties exchange a look of concern between each other. And then Amilyn leaves the dining room in a rush. Harter tries to calm the woman down with reassuring words that Rey can't hear well. Just a few minutes later, Amilyn is back, holding a small, transparent reed diffuser bottle with a yellow liquid inside.

  
  


“Kira,” Amilyn begins, a stronghold on the small bottle, clutching it close to her heart. “This is _Scenting Oblivious_ —its powerful scent is enchanted. One drop of it on your Alpha’s mating gland and he will become yours.” 

  
  


Kira’s eyes widened in surprise. Rey guesses she thought her aunties wouldn't help her.

  
  


Now that Kira seems more focused, Amilyn continues, “As soon as you do so, you gotta repeat this incantation: _Knot of thyne_ , _his heart is mine. Lavender's blue, rosemary's green; I will be loved as soon as he scents me._ ”

  
  


Kira’s entire demeanor changes. If it could be possible, Rey thinks it would be easy to glimpse the weight being lifted off her shoulders. Her eyes are glassy from tears, and even though her Auntie Amilyn just revealed the solution to her problems, she still asks, a tremor in her voice, “Alpha will be mine?”

  
  


Harter exhales a heavy sigh. “Yes, darling, he will,” she says. Kira’s smile widens and drops in the same instant as Harter proceeds, voice urgent, “However, like most things that start with a spell, there’s a tricky ending to it. If your Alpha finds the Omega he's _really_ supposed to be with, a true love’s kiss from his mate will break the spell. _True love will hold on to those whom it has held._ ”

  
  


“What?” Kira asks, tears welling up in her eyes. “All of this will be for _nothing?_ ”

  
  


“Nothing that happens in life is for _nothing_ ,” Amilyn infers. “But our actions and choices have _consequences,_ Kira.” With a somber tone, she adds, “And there's a _price_ to pay if you intertwine a life that’s not your own with magic.”

  
  


“Choose wisely, dear,” Harter mutters with a last affectionate pat on Kira’s shoulder. 

  
  


It’s hard to decipher Kira’s expression when she gets up off the chair and expresses her gratitude to Amilyn and Harter almost in an automatic, robot-like way. Holding the bottle with her two hands against her chest, possessively, almost like it's her most prized possession, she all but races to the door, closing it with a loud thud.

  
  


Still looking at the door, it takes only a minute for Amilyn to ask, her voice with a hint of expectation, “Do you think she’ll choose wisely?”

  
  


“No,” Harter’s tone is harsh and pointed. “She’s too in love to care about something that in her mind is as trivial as consequences.”

  
  


Amilyn sighs. And then: “Well, let’s call it a night, old hag.”

  
  


Harter laughs, closing her arms around her sister’s. “Of course, you stinky witch.”

  
  


It’s Rey and Kaydel’s cue to prop up onto their feet and scramble towards their room, so they won't get caught and get grounded. To their aunties, the only thing that counts as a discipline measure is leaving them without chocolate cake for a week.

  
  


Successfully, they get to their room, and after they both bid each other their goodnight, they fall onto their beds. It's not long until the weariness of the day settles on Kaydel’s body, and soon enough she's sleeping, breathing soundly in the bed beside Rey’s.

  
  


Even lying in bed and feeling the fatigue of the day creeping up, Rey can't make her mind stop and relax. She can't really put a name to what she's feeling right now. Perhaps panicking would be a suitable definition. She puts herself in that Omega’s place—imagining how it would feel to lose control of herself for something as powerful as biology and acting like a hopeless fool. Imagining resorting to not-so-noble methods because of it. She thinks of her mom and dad—Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, perfect match, soulmates—and how cruel their ending was: her dad, victim of a curse that is imprinted on her mom’s bloodline; her mom, victim of biology and a curse, helpless to dictate the course of her life. 

  
  


Choosing her designation isn't something Rey can control. Although she hopes every day with every fiber of her being that she presents as a Beta, she doesn't know how her body will respond. 

  
  


It’s out of her hands. 

  
  


However, if Rey doesn’t have the power to break the curse that perpetuates for centuries in her family, she can at least choose not to surrender to it. 

  
  


Rey knows what she has to do. Tomorrow, she will take her plan into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SW REFERENCES:
> 
> [Harter "Erso".](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Harter_Kalonia)
> 
> [Larma "Erso".](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Larma_D%27Acy%22)
> 
> [Javarican espresso.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Javarican_espresso)
> 
> OTHER REFERENCES:
> 
> "Knot of thyne, his heart is mine..." is a modified reference to a **[Love Affirmation Spell](https://riverdale.fandom.com/wiki/Witch/Spells_and_Rituals)** from **Chilling Adventures of Sabrina**. So is "True love will hold on to those whom it has held".


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > Maybe imagining the perfect Alpha in her mind and trying to make him up were entirely different things. If the spell works as she said, Rey supposes she was tied to such an outstanding level of perfection, to the idea of a flawless person that it ended up in the only way that was possible: he didn't exist.
>> 
>> Which is exactly what Rey wants. If the perfect Alpha doesn't exist, if the man who will be kind and sweet and protect her from everything won't be her perfect mate, she will never die of a broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who left kudos and comments on the first chapter! I am super excited about this story!!! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, too, and see yall next week 💕
> 
> This fic wouldn't be readable without the help of my darling friend [maddy](https://twitter.com/darthswift13)! 💕 Thank you so much for putting it up with my annoying ass, ilysm 💕

Unfortunately, Rey couldn't find the perfect opportunity to put her plan into action for an entire week. All of this because she and Kaydel finally started the school year, despite their protests to their aunties; they cried and pleaded and begged to be home-schooled, to no avail. They were still grieving the loss of their parents and the idea of starting a new year at a new school where everyone was cautious of their family left the girls feeling apprehensive.

Because the truth is, Rey really liked the school she went to when she lived in Scarif. She had friends there; she liked her teachers and her life. She didn't have any complaints about living with her aunties so far, but being in the safety of their house along with how much her aunties cared for her and her sister played a huge part in why. She didn't know how the kids in school would react to her and Kaydel, and that uncertainty made her anxious.

Things escalate on the first day, when she and Kaydel arrive at school and go their separate ways to their classrooms. Rey introduces herself to a class full of kids that had already known each other for their entire childhood. They look at her from head to toe, assessing her ratty clothes, mocking her unfamiliar accent, and, of course, looking at her strangely as soon as she tells them she's an Erso and where she lives. After introductions are made, the teacher tells her to sit. The only spot available is a desk chair at the back of the classroom and there isn’t anyone to sit beside her and be her friend. Not that anyone would like to be, Rey thinks. She sits alone for the entire day, except for lunchtime, when she and Kaydel have lunch at the school cafeteria together.

When it’s time to go back home, she and Kaydel walk to their house and Rey feels like a tremendous weight is lifted off her shoulders. Yes, it’s true that she stayed alone the entire day, and considering her family's reputation around town, it's likely she won't make any friends there. But there are worse things to endure, and of that she’s sure.

After getting their homework done—not because of the insistence of their aunties, because they didn't care, but Rey missed following a routine and having things to do—, the girls decide to play in the garden with their dolls. It's a lovely day outside and soon they'll be getting back inside for dinner, so Rey gets bored with the dolls quickly—it’s obvious she's not really enjoying playing with them as much as Kaydel still does—and suggests to Kaydel they play tag instead.

They run around the garden and the house for a while, and just when they reach the limits of the house, a white fence separating their aunties’ house and the neighbors, they find a few of Rey’s classmates close to the fence, staring at them.

For a moment, Rey thinks that maybe she will have friends at school if her classmates took the time to walk all the way here. Kaydel smiles at them shyly, but only then Rey senses something is up—she doesn't know what or why she senses that and backs away from them slowly. Soon enough, they chant “ _Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch!_ ”, and it’s the first time she hears the word witch out of a mouth that isn't her family’s. It's said with a lot of hatred and disgust. Suddenly, one boy throws a rotten tomato at Kaydel, staining the front of the girl’s pink dress, making her immediately burst into tears.

At the sight of her sister crying, Rey feels her body boil with rage. She steps closer to the fence, ready to climb over it and punch all those kids for hurting Kaydel. She even thinks of the books of spells and curses she's been reading and tries to recall something to curse out and make them permanently regret even thinking of hurting their family. Because why are they so cruel—isn't everything she and Kaydel went through enough suffering? They lost their parents. They’re in a town where no one likes them. They just want to be left alone. Rey feels so much despair she almost chokes on it. And then, because she's not interested in letting those kids see her cry, so in a moment all she sees is red, her anger reaching to a point where she really wants all of these kids _dead._ Her Aunt Harter’s voice saying they're not creatures of evil comes to her mind and makes her stagger. But it's her Aunt Amilyn’s hand on her shoulder that makes her stop.

Looking up, Rey sees her aunt grinning, her disheveled blonde locks ruffled by the wind. She smiles at Rey like they have an important secret between them—one that those kids could never be privy to. And suddenly, she feels lighter and calmer; her rage dulling to a point where she doesn't even remember why she felt like that in the first place.

“Let’s get back inside, girls,” Amilyn says, ignoring the other kids completely. “Your Auntie Harter is baking a chocolate cake.”

They smile at Aunt Amilyn, and they both take her hands when they make their way back to the house. Inside, the smell of chocolate and freshly baked cake is wonderful, and the scene of Aunt Harter dancing to a song she doesn't recognize on the radio makes Rey and Kaydel explode with laughter. Instantly, everything that happened a few minutes ago didn't matter—if Rey could always have _this_ , she’s sure she can overcome everything.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

As much as Rey loves her aunties, she's not particularly fond of how disorganized their house is. There are always things out of place, like a wine glass forgotten on the porch or a book at the top of the stairs that lead to their bedrooms. Rey finds it annoying, but surprisingly, this chaos makes it easier for her to find the books she’s looking for since her plan popped into her mind. Remembering word for word the incantation her aunties told that Omega, she's sure there's a book somewhere in the house with others just like that one—although not particularly with the same effect.

It doesn't take long for her to find books dispersed through the house. One time, Rey finds a few under the table in the dining room, but after hiding from everyone and inspecting them, she discovers there isn't anything that could help her in those. Another time, she finds books in her Aunt Harter’s bedroom, but just when Rey sits down to open and read them, her aunt comes into the room, and totally misunderstands the situation, thinking Rey wants to clean her room.

“Rey,” Harter sighs. “I don't want my room to be perfectly tidy. I'm just fine with my chaos.”

“But—”

“If you're so inclined to clean things up in this house, take these books to the attic and make yourself comfortable there. There are lots of things for you to organize.”

Rey barely hides the smirk that tugs at her mouth before she leaves her aunt's room.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

In the same corridor of her Aunt Harter’s room, Rey pulls down the retracting stairs out from the ceiling. Climbing up slowly, the wooden ladder makes a squeaky noise with every step she takes. Still, at the top of the stairs, she finally peeks into the attic, and she can't help the gasp that comes out of her mouth. It's obvious it's disorganized and messy—the linoleum floor needs scrubbing, the windows need to be cleaned, the white sheets covering a few pieces of furniture aren't even white anymore and the shelves on the left corner of the room are covered in dust, just as the books scattered on the floor.

It’s complete chaos, just like Aunt Harter said. But it's something Rey can get her hands on, without interruption or feeling like she's stepping into something that doesn't belong to her. It's a project for her to distract herself from all the turmoil that’s happened in the past month in her life. It's a safe place—somewhere she can read and do her homework and practice her magic. She can turn it into her own bedroom, so she doesn't have to share one with Kaydel anymore—not that she really minds sharing. However, the idea of having something that's only _hers_ makes her feel incredibly excited. And she can already imagine how it's going to turn out once she cleans everything up.

Happy with the discovery, Rey heaves out a contented sigh as she walks towards the books spread out on the floor and sits down. She sneezes three times as soon as she picks _Alpha & Omega: Mating Spells And Other Practical Sorcery_ and opens it _._ Rey rolls her eyes when she reads the title, but as she flips through the pages, it’s not long until she finds out it’s exactly what she's been looking for. Rey honestly wasn't expecting to find it so soon. The book out in the open, just at her reach. She assumes it was rather easy to find the right book, but considering the hassle she went through the past few days with the mess around the house, it's nice to have it _easy_.

And then even in the first pages, at the first look, Rey feels enthralled by the variety of spells she finds in the book. There are spells for everything—and some of them even make her blush. Except for one spell, in particular, that catches her eye. Rey is happy she doesn't have to squint her eyes to read the worn and old paper. Blair's handwriting is gorgeous, neat and organized:

_To manifest the perfect man,_

_To obtain the perfect Alpha,_

_The one with the perfect knot,_

_The perfect mate,_

_All you have to do is write down_

_what you really look for in a man:_

_May he be kind and sweet,_

_And yet protect you fiercely._

_May he be good and warm,_  
  
_And give you perfect shelter in a storm._

_May he smell like your happiest place,_  
  
_Like your favorite scent,_  
  
_And give you the fairytale ending._

On the next page, it looks like it’s a diary entry. The woman—she signed the spell as Blair Erso and Rey recognizes her as her great-grandmother—writes that the spell really works. She continues:

_Putting together a mixture of white and red roses petals—symbols unconditional love and passion, respectively—and cinnamon powder, my favorite smell, in a bowl, I swore the incantation at the latest full moon, because that's when the moon is at the height of its power, perfect for a love spell. The petals flew in the air, leaving a lovely aroma of cinnamon in their trail, and it disappeared in the clouds, all the way through the moon. It made me feel full of joy. And oh, so powerful. My body was vibrating with energy—just thinking about the possibility of having my perfect Alpha and falling in lo—_ ”

Rey closes the book. She knows for a fact that her great-grandmother was an Omega that died all alone. Because all the rummaging through old books in the house turned into something good: she learned a lot about her ancestors and they always had either of those endings: most of the Omegas who dared to be Alpha’s mates had the same fate her parents did. And the others who took the curse seriously ended up just like her aunties: eternally spinsters.

She doesn't know if Blair Erso expected too much. Maybe imagining the perfect Alpha in her mind and trying to make him up were entirely different things. If the spell works as she said, Rey supposes she was tied to such an outstanding level of perfection, to the idea of a flawless person that it ended up in the only way that was possible: he didn't exist.

Which is exactly what Rey wants. If the perfect Alpha doesn't exist, if the man who will be kind and sweet and protect her from everything won't be her perfect mate, she will never die of a broken heart.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

There's a full moon happening at the end of the next school week. And then Aunt Amilyn and Aunt Harter tell Rey and Kaydel there's a celebratory ritual with the local coven happening on the same night, which honestly is an enormous surprise for her. She’s been feeling so lonely lately, especially since she and Kaydel are the outcasts in school. She only has her family, and it's not that it isn’t enough, because it is. But having other witches around town makes her feel like they have a connection with her—even though she's never met them. It honestly makes her feel like she belongs.

“There’s more of us?” Rey asks, a glint in her eyes. She's so excited about it she can hardly hide the amazement in her voice.

Her aunties are dressed in black dresses and black boots. She walks through the house, searching for her glasses and hat whilst Rey stands by the door, waiting for them to go out and lock it. Rey finds it so funny that they somehow both fit the movie's stereotypes of witches and don't fit them at the same time.

“Oh, yes, dear, there are tons of us,” Amilyn says. “Do you want to join us tonight?”

Rey feels torn about not being able to say yes. She would _love_ to see what happens in a celebratory ritual, but she also doesn't want to wait for the next full moon to make her spell. She shakes her head.

“I’m not feeling well,” she lies. “Maybe next time?”

Amilyn chuckles and walks toward Rey. Harter comes down the stairs, Kaydel in tow.

“The girls aren't coming?” Harter asks Amilyn.

“Next time,” Amilyn replies and pats Rey’s cheek. “Take care, my loves.”

Rey opens the door and ushers them out the door, overeager about her own ventures.

“Have fun, aunties!” Kaydel shouts and waves at them.

“Misbehave wisely, dears,” Harter sings.

Rey smiles at them and waves, too, until they disappear at the end of the street and into the night.

When she closes the door and makes way for the greenhouse, Kaydel grabs her arm.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

Kaydel narrows her eyes at her. “I know when you're lying. You suck at it.”

Rey rolls her eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. She should know already she couldn't hide this from Kaydel. Tentatively, she asks, “Promise you won't say anything to our aunties?”

Kaydel’s eyes widen. Maybe she's worried about what Rey is about to do, since she’s never once lied to her parents and now her aunties.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Kaydel says, making the sign of the cross over her chest.

Rey raises her eyebrows. “We’re not Catholics.”

Kaydel tsks. “You know I’m being serious, so stop being an ass.”

“Okay, fine,” Rey concedes. “Come with me.”

_**🔮✨🔮** _

Inside the greenhouse, the moonlight illuminates from the window ceilings, casting an exquisite glow over all kinds of plants and flowers Aunt Harter grows there. After her discovery of the attic thanks to Aunt Harter—which she successfully turned into her room—, lately Rey has been taking a liking to working there with her. Just a few days ago, she helped Aunt Harter to plant rosemary by the garden’s gate. When she asked why that location, her aunt explained that it brings peace to both the living and the dead, because the plant represents remembrance and loyalty, bringing good luck to the house’s habitants. She's been learning a lot about plants and herbs and its powerful use, especially when it's clear after her research that a lot of spells her aunties make involve plants and herbs and flowers, something about absorbing natural energy and power from Earth being crucial for spells, which Rey finds remarkable. She really likes to spend most of her free time there.

She leads Kaydel to the table centered in the middle of the room. There are pots of basil, chives, cilantro, parsley, lavender (also for good luck, her aunties say), and chamomile she recently helped Aunt Harter planting on top of the table, and a little to the side, the copy of _Alpha & Omega: Mating Spells And Other Practical Sorcery _rests on it too, along with a bowl by its side. Rey opens it and goes straight to the page she marked a week ago in the attic. She feels Kaydel’s eyes on her, watching her every move. She wonders when her sister is going to ask questions.

For now, she works quietly and quickly, already habituated to the greenhouse. She grabs the bowl from the table and walks to the vases of roses stocked atop of a marble table on the far corner to the left. Plucking a few petals from white and red roses and a few from chamomile flowers, she hears Kaydel heaving out a heavy sigh. Rey can’t help but grin, wishing she had a watch on her wrist to see how long her sister waited until she whispered:

“What are you doing?”

“There’s no need to whisper. There's no one in the house.”

“Still,” she hears Kaydel’s steps get closer. “It feels wrong to be here without Aunt Harter.”

“It’s fine,” Rey tells her calmly. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

Rey is certain her sister is rolling her eyes and when she turns around to look at Kaydel’s face, it's exactly what she's doing.

Rey decides it's time to end her curiosity.

“I’m making a spell,” Rey intones. “I found a book of our great-grandmother’s and she created this spell for her to find the perfect Alpha. She wrote everything she wanted her mate to be and with a mixture of red and white roses’ petals and something to symbolize the smell of your happiest place and swear the incantation to the full moon.”

Kaydel stares at her like she grew a second head.

And then she utters, “I thought your biggest fear was to present as an Omega. I thought you wanted nothing to do with an Alpha. So why even bother?”

“That’s exactly why I'm doing it, Kay,” Rey explains. Suddenly, she feels awfully sad, the weight of the curse that runs in her blood, the curse that killed her dad, and ultimately, her mother, wearing her down. It seems too heavyweight for a 12-year-old to carry. “I think Blair—that's her name—imagined the perfect Alpha, putting a high standard on someone. And in the end, he didn't exist. Because we know she died alone. So…” she trails off.

“So?” Kaydel prods.

“If my perfect Alpha doesn't exist, he will never die if he dares to love me, and then I'll never die of a broken heart,” she completes. “Besides, I don't want to be an Omega, but I can’t choose my designation. This, however, I can control.”

There's a moment of silence between them. Rey senses Kaydel doesn't agree with her ways, and that's perfectly fine with her. They share the same blood and curse, and Rey would kill and go to war for her sister, but she understands they’re different people. They don't share the same fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. Whereas Rey is more wary and practical, Kaydel is more adventurous and reckless.

After the moment of silence stretches too long, Kaydel finally says, “I hope it works.”

And Rey knows in her marrow that she's being sincere.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

When the time of the full moon is approaching, Rey leaves the greenhouse and heads to the attic, Kaydel following behind. She paces across her room and walks towards the dresser, opening its first drawer. Rey keeps her relics there: pictures of her family, mostly, letters her mom wrote for her on her birthdays and seashells she used to collect on her trips to the beach. She grabs one seashell and drops it on the bowl, along with the roses’ petals.

Kaydel glances at the bowl and frowns. “A seashell?”

Rey sighs wistfully. “The spell says, ‘ _May he smell like your happiest place’._ My happiest place is the beach,” she shrugs. “This part was tricky because I didn't know what to choose, and then I realized this was the answer, and I also put chamomile flowers in it, so I think it's gonna work. Aunt Harter says our inner energy when we're making a spell is crucial.”

“Well, do you feel energetic now?” Kaydel asks sarcastically.

“Yes,” Rey says, ignoring the sarcasm. “Now let’s go to Aunt Amilyn’s room.”

“What? _Why?_ ”

“Her room is the only one with a balcony,” Rey replies, like it's the most obvious thing she's said that night.

Kaydel sighs. “Damn, I am regretting not coming to the ritual with our aunties. This is boring.”

“That's why you’re always making mistakes with your magic. You’re not paying enough attention.”

“Rey, _please_ shut up.”

_**🔮✨🔮** _

The moon hangs high in the sky. The night is peaceful, and as Rey stands in her aunt’s room’s balcony with Kaydel beside her, she remembers what she read in Blair's diary entry. She feels _powerful_ —like she did before she realized she was a witch—, something thrumming inside her. She wonders if it's just because of the moon, at the height of its power, amplifying her awareness and, therefore, her magic. She wonders if Kaydel feels it, too. She wonders if her sister also hears the steady humming inside her own veins. She wonders if it's always going to be like this for her, going forward. If she's going to feel the most alive whenever she's in touch with her magic. She can’t understand why her mom stayed away from it—Rey feels like if someone separated her from her abilities, from her magic, it would be the same as killing her.

It’s time.

Rey senses it with an overwhelming certainty.

Slowly, she places the bowl on top of the balcony’s fence and recites the incantation.

" _To manifest the perfect man, to obtain the perfect Alpha, the one with the perfect knot, the perfect mate, all you have to do is write down what you really look for in a man: May he be kind and sweet, and yet protect you fiercely,”_ Just like Blair said in the diary, the petals launch themselves into the air, floating in front of Rey’s eyes. She continues, in a firmer voice, “ _May he be good and warm, and give you perfect shelter in a storm. May he smell like your happiest place…”_ The seashell stays inside the bowl, and here she's stupefied because she can smell the sea breeze, and she knows in her heart it was the same smell she felt at the beach at home, on the last trip with her family.

Tears well up in her eyes at the memory. And then, when she finishes, “ _May he smell like your favorite scent, and give you the fairytale ending…”,_ the chamomile flowers join the roses’ petals, leaving a sweet aroma in the air on its trail, disappearing in the clouds, making their way toward the moon in a swirl.

So it’s done. She accomplished it.

Rey spares a long glance at the moon and remains in silence. Kaydel is the first to say something after she finishes the spell.

“I was wrong,” Kaydel admits. “This wasn't boring. It was _freaking_ cool.”

Her excitement is so tangible Rey can feel it. She gives her sister a small smile in return.

“Let’s come back downstairs, though. The aunties are coming home soon,” Kaydel reminds her.

“Yeah,” Rey agrees quietly.

Rey grabs the bowl and stares at the seashell inside it. She thought she would feel joyful and powerful after it’s done, just like her great-grandmother said, but she feels the exact opposite. She feels weak and remorseful and guilty. Like she's done something that she'll pay too high a cost in the future, that she’ll painfully regret later.

“Rey?”

Kaydel’s voice takes her out of her trance. Rey follows her sister in silence, clutching the bowl to her chest, hoping to god that she hasn't made a huge mistake.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

Life goes on with minimal misfortunes, thankfully. Rey goes to school, research and practices her magic, plays with her sister, has dinner parties in the garden with her aunties, learns and does some gardening in the greenhouse with Aunt Harter, bakes tons of chocolate cake with Aunt Amilyn and Aunt Harter. Her grief diminishes to the point where she barely holds a grudge against her mom for leaving her and Kaydel anymore. And she appreciates the little family she still has every day.

As far as childhood goes, Rey supposes hers is exactly what it could be. There are worse things to happen to a child than be raised by her crazy, witch, Beta aunties. And even if she still suffers a lot of bullying from other kids in town, the knowledge that she could always rely on her family to comfort her and make her laugh makes it better.

And that's more than enough for her.

That's _everything_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > She promises herself she will never give in to these fantasies ever again. She will work toward perfecting this heat suppressant her aunties created because it’s true what she told Aunt Amilyn: she _won’t_ be at the mercy of her designation, and she won’t be controlled by her animalistic needs of being knotted and bred and mated. There's no space in her life to be some Alpha’s Omega. She wants more than that for her life. She wants to be her own self, to be the keeper of her life, the protagonist of her story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I am sorry for the wait to post this chapter! I got stuck writing it and then Nano started and I got excited about another project I'm gonna start posting soon, but here it is! I have two other chapters already written, just waiting for it to be beta-read. Thank you so much for your patience and thank you again to everyone who left kudos and comments on the second chapter! I am super excited about this story!!! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, too, and see yall soon 💕
> 
> This fic wouldn't be readable without the help of my darling friend [maddy](https://twitter.com/darthswift13)! 💕 Thank you so much for putting it up with my annoying ass, ilysm 💕

_**6 years later.** _

Rey’s 18th birthday comes around with a lot of enthusiasm from her aunties and her sister, and a whole lot of apprehension from herself, all of it because she's now officially an adult and it’s at that age that people usually present their designations. It isn’t an exact science, as she learned in school. There were cases here and there—people presenting at the young age of twelve (the _horror_!) or presenting when they’re almost thirty—that showed her that waiting for the clock to strike at midnight on the 10th of April means absolutely nothing if her body decides it wasn't time.

Nevertheless, she couldn't exactly run away from the crippling anxiety that devours her when she turns eighteen and nothing happens.

She had studied a lot the past few years to be aware that no one that presented as a Beta waited long to know what they were.

“It’s gonna be fine, Rey,” Amilyn says with a loving smile, obviously trying to calm her down.

Her aunties will never get it. She carried the fear of presenting as an Omega with her ever since her parents died. It darkened her mind and consumed her every thought because she never wanted to be at the mercy of biology. She wants to be her own person and always be in control of herself, and not put the rational side of herself aside to behave like an animal.

“Blow out the candles and make a wish, honey,” Harter suggests, patting Rey’s head.

After sparing a long glance at her aunties and sister—her beautiful family—, she averts her eyes to the cake and the candles on flames in front of her. She closes her eyes and focuses her energy on the candles in the same way she does when she's trying to make a difficult spell.

_Please_ , she implores to every magic deity out there. _Please_ , she implores once again to the moon, to the universe. She implies to anything, _anyone_ , that could listen.

Then, she opens her eyes and blows out the candles.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

(Somewhere in Coruscant, it’s late in the night and Ben Solo wakes up with a start and a gasp. He's sweaty, a damp patch on the collar of his shirt, and a stain on his bedsheets. He recognizes he's aroused immediately, an ache at the base of his shaft where his knot swells. He groans, trying to think of what caused this, but whenever he tries to remember his dreams, it's always the same: fragments of images, only flashes that he barely can figure out. The only thing he can always remember is glimpsing chestnut, wavy hair, and freckled shoulders and collarbones, and lovely hazel eyes, and how he can always smell a waft of chamomile after he wakes up. He always smells the scent of sea breeze, too, which is odd, because there's no beach in Coruscant.

He's painfully hard now, and he needs to come. Slowly, he takes his cock out of his sweatpants and starts pumping himself hard and fast, and quickly images of someone he never saw and he can't quite make its face invade his mind. The animal part of himself seems to know, though.

Because there's a distinct word that comes out of his mouth when he comes all over his hand and stomach.

_Omega._ )

_**🔮✨🔮** _

“I mean, it’s not like he's dating Sammy, right? They only hung out _once_. So it's fine if I accept his invite, right, Rey?” Kaydel asks nervously, pacing across the carpet in the middle of Rey’s room.

Rey tries to pay attention and focus on her sister's latest affliction, but it's been getting harder and harder to keep track of Kaydel’s escapades with the boys—and some girls—from school. It’s amazing how much things change and how much things stay the same over the years at the same time. To be fair, supposing Kaydel’s outgoing personality, it shouldn't come as a surprise, the fact that she is popular. But still, considering they grew up being the pariahs in school because of their family, it’s a difficult concept for Rey to comprehend. As soon as Kaydel went through puberty, though, it suddenly became okay for her to be hanging around the other teens in town, which annoyed the living shit out of Rey, especially because her sister subjected herself to it, instantly forgetting all the years of bullying they had to endure.

And all of this ensued in Kaydel choosing the worst type of companionship, and even nastier types of boys to date, especially when they don’t accept her breakups. It's Kaydel’s luck that all the boys in town are such twats and incapable of hurting a fly. And it doesn't hurt that she’s an Erso, either. No one dares to mess with her. But, still, one of these days, Rey’s gonna make a protection spell, she decides. To protect Kaydel from ever meeting the _dangerous_ type of nasty boy, because _god forbid_ —

And that’s when Kaydel calls her out.

“Rey, are you even listening to me?”

“Yes,” she lies.

Kaydel scoffs, not really believing her.

Rey sighs and brings her fingers to her forehead, trying to smooth out the beginning of yet another headache. Kaydel picks up on that quickly and draws near Rey’s bed slowly.

“Another headache?” she asks, a tinge of worry in her voice.

“I’m fine,” Rey lies again. She gives her sister a small smile. “Don’t worry.”

Kaydel gazes at her like she doesn't believe a word that comes out of Rey’s mouth.

But before Kaydel can say anything, she goes back to her sister’s subject and quickly says:

“It’s fine if you date Tommy, if he asks. I don't think Sammy should be angry at you for that.”

“ _Right?_ I told him that!” Kaydel enthusiastically agrees.

And soon, Kaydel lays down on Rey’s bed beside her and immerses into a long story involving way too many people Rey doesn't really care about, but she listens to Kaydel’s rambles anyway. Anything to try and ignore the throbbing ache in her forehead.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

In hindsight, Rey really should’ve known better. The signs are all there in the weeks that follow her eighteenth birthday: the persistent headache, a throbbing in her head so strong that she can barely get out of bed to go to school in the morning; how she's always hungry, eating too much; the way her body seems heavier, and how exhausted she constantly feels, often sleeping for the entire day, during which she has the urge to put on blankets on her bed to sleep nested on it, which often results in her waking up in the middle of the night absolutely burning up, the bedsheets soaked in sweat, and not even tons of cool, iced water can chill out her feverish, shivering body.

The signs are all there, but Rey doesn't want to see them. She refuses to accept what is gradually happening to her.

Until she can’t ignore it anymore.

**_🔮✨🔮_ **

For the third consecutive day, Rey wakes up with a start, bathed in sweat, sensing like her body is set up in flames. It's _actually_ a surprise when she opens her eyes and scans her body to see she's not on fire, she just _feels_ like it. With a whimper, she puts the palm of her left hand on her forehead, and it confirms what she already knows: she has a fever. Again.

She inhales deeply, willing herself to calm down, ignoring the way shivers run all through her body. She yanks her drenched pajama shirt off and getting up off the bed, she shimmies out of her pants. She thinks that maybe a cold shower will help her feverish body to cool down.

_It’s just a fever_ , she repeats to herself. _It's just a fever it’s just a fever it's just—_

Suddenly, excruciating pain assaults her body, something clenching in her lower belly, like it's tearing itself apart. Involuntarily, she lets out a loud wail. It's like an inhuman sound coming out of her throat and she hardly recognizes that it's _her doing_ it. She quickly falls back into bed. Hunched on herself, trying to make herself as small as possible to see if the pain ebbs, Rey faintly hears footsteps coming up to the attic. She sobs again when another wave of pain flares up in her abdomen.

It’s hard to focus on anything else besides what's currently happening with her body. She feels _achy_ all over like the pain has latched itself into her bones and muscles, and all she can think about is the cramps rippling through her belly, her back arching in agony, sweat damping her forehead, how there’s slick coming out of her in gushes, pooling under her. She groans in disgust and pain, her mind fogging up to the point where she imagines how good it would be if she had an Alpha’s knot _right now_ —

She barely registers there are more people in the room.

Not until when with a sad voice, Amilyn murmurs, “ _Oh,_ Rey.”

It takes Rey a lot of effort to lift her head and peek at her aunties and her sister, standing in front of her bed with pitiful looks on their faces. She whimpers pitifully. Rey _hates_ it that they’re witnessing her like this: so shameful and miserable, naked and curled up on herself in pain, slowly losing her grasp on the last shred of her sanity, this _thing_ inside her making its way to break free and warring with her to take control.

Rey knows she can't go through this alone. She needs help. So, despite her pride and embarrassment, she manages to let out a sob, “He—help me, _please."_

And then everything goes black.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

(She dreams of an Alpha so strong he can carry her in his arms like she weighs nothing. She dreams of pale skin and scattering moles on his face, of dark hair and eyes that look like hers as they stare back, and it feels like she’s baring the deepest parts of her soul. She dreams of a man that’s understanding and gentle and tall, that will keep her warm and satisfy her needs as he knots her over and over again, filling her up with his seed, promising her he will give her as many babies as she wants. She dreams of the beach in Scarif and how happy she was whenever she went there. In her dream, she's back there. In her dream, someone is hugging her, scenting her gland, telling her how perfect she is, how she smells like his whole world, how she smells like _home_.

She tries to turn around and see his face.

But she wakes up with a shout before she manages to do so.

_Alpha.)_

_**🔮✨🔮** _

“ _Alpha_!” Rey screams when she wakes up.

To her absolute mortification, Aunt Amilyn is in her room. And to Rey’s eternal gratitude, she pretends she didn't hear a thing. Rey scans her surroundings slowly, noticing she's nestled between a bunch of blankets and towels. She feels disoriented, not really knowing how many days it's been. Amilyn’s hand immediately reaches up to Rey’s forehead to check about her fever. Rey looks down at herself while her aunt does that and notices she's wearing a thin, white camisole that's soaked in sweat, and there's an uncomfortable stickiness between her legs that makes her groan.

“You’re not burning up right now, so I take it that what we did is working,” Amilyn says, ignoring her groan.

Frowning, Rey asks, “What did you do?”

Amilyn points to Rey’s nightstand, where a maroon tincture bottle is settled on top of it.

She blinks. “What is that?”

Amilyn’s gaze on her is gentle and she speaks softly, “Harter and I always thought that it was very likely one of you presented as an Omega, seeing Jyn and Cassian were perfect mates. So we've been working on something for you to take daily...”

Rey hoists herself up in the bed, trying to give her full focus on what her aunt is saying. “You’ve been working on something...”

Amilyn nods, letting out a heavy sigh. Grabbing the bottle from Rey’s nightstand, she places it on Rey’s open palm. “This is a herbal tincture made with plants and herbs that helps with the cramps. There are also components to help with the fever and, erm, _other_ aspects of the entire thing. And, well, a little bit of magic, of course,” she smiles bashfully. “We didn't know if it was going to work, but so far, your heat has been suppressed quickly, even after just a day…”

At the mention of the word _heat_ , Rey can’t help but scrunch her nose in disgust, and that reaction doesn't escape her aunt.

“Rey,” Amilyn says in a stern voice. “I know you didn't want it to be this way, but you're a bright, young witch and this isn't the end of the world.”

“It sure _feels_ like it,” Rey tells her petulantly.

“Well, it's just your first heat. I heard things are, erm, quite _stressful,”_ Amilyn agrees. “But you have your family by your side, and most of all, you have _magic_ by your side.” She puts a hand on Rey’s cheek and caresses it. “Use it to improve your life and help others in the same situation as yourself.”

“I just—” Rey starts, thinking about what really troubles her about it all, and her voice breaks, tears welling up in her eyes. After a minute, she tries again. “I don't want to be controlled by some _irrational_ , _animalistic_ part of me, and be whining about an Alpha’s _knot_ every six months or so.”

Amilyn nods in sympathy because there's no way she really understands what Rey’s going through and her insecurities about her new designation. “Your designation is not _you_ , Rey, it's just a part of yourself, just like you're also a witch, and a sister, and a niece and a student. It doesn't have to control you. And it _won’t_. I’m sure of that.”

“How can you be so sure?” Rey asks in a whisper.

“Because it's _you_ , my darling, and I know your stubborn, amazing self. I know you’ll come out of it stronger and you will do great things with your magic and your life because you're the only one who's in control of all of that, _not_ your designation. And who knows? Maybe being an Omega will make yourself vulnerable to other’s Omega needs, and that will make it easier for you to help them.”

Rey almost tears up again. She doesn't know how to articulate how much it means to her, having someone put so much faith in you. Her chest swells with love for her family. With a smile, Rey quickly closes the distance between her and Amilyn and hugs her.

“Thank you, Auntie,” she tells her sincerely.

“You’re welcome, my darling,” she replies, hugging her tighter. After a minute, though, she sniffs at Rey’s shoulders and gets off of her embrace.

“I know I am not an Omega so your sense of smell is better than mine, but darling, you _stink_. Please go take a shower.”

Rey feigns a gasp, shocked that her aunt would even say something like that. Amilyn laughs and gets up off the bed, hurrying to the door. She stops for a moment and turns around. “And Rey?”

“Yeah, Auntie?”

“Don’t say you don't want an Alpha’s knot until you've tried,” Amilyn says with a wink.

Something between a shriek and a laugh comes out of Rey’s throat at what her aunt implied.

“ _Never_!” she shouts.

On her way downstairs, Amilyn shouts back, “Never say never, darling!”

Rey chuckles to herself and shakes her head. Yeah, _never say never_ , but she would rather drop dead than get involved with an Alpha.

_**🔮✨🔮** _

After the shower, Rey changes the bedsheets and rearranges her nest, still feeling the necessity of being cocooned by blankets. However, whatever powerful spell her aunties put into the herbal tincture, it worked wonders. There's a patch of skin at her neck and at her upper back that pulses softly, and aside from how much she wants to scratch it, she doesn't feel like her sanity is giving way to her hindbrain. And she also doesn't feel like control is slipping away from her grasp, not letting her think about anything else besides how much she wants a knot inside her cunt. She blushes at the thought, ashamed of that deepest part of herself, but a flow of slick leaks out of her instantly.

She's grateful that she's no longer curled up in pain and sobbing profanities to no one in the room, but it seems like not all symptoms from her heat have receded yet. She actually feels hollow inside, like there's a hunger she didn't manage to satisfy. And there's a tug at her heart, a terrible kind of loneliness seeping through her skin, making tears well up at her eyes for the third time that day.

In the darkness and safety of her bedroom, she supposes she can admit it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to her, being taken care of. Someone to pamper her and see her through this nightmare of hormones and pain. She rarely thinks about how lonely she truly is and how touch-starved she feels. She's been nurtured and loved by her family just fine, but it's hard to admit, even to herself, that she craves passion, that she yearns for another kind of love.

Oh, how good it would be, Rey supposes, to be held tightly, a warm body spooning her to sleep. Someone licking at her neck, soothing her. She wonders if there's any connection to her heat, the suffocating loneliness she's feeling right now. It probably does, what with all of these hormones messing with her brain and body.

She stifles out a sob, and before she knows it, her hand moves on its own accord to the middle of her legs. She's _so_ wet, slick pouring out of her, puddling under her thighs. Rey eases a digit inside her cunt and starts thrusting it in and out slowly, the heel of her palm hitting her swollen clit, causing the most delicious shiver to run through her body, the most lascivious moan to come out of her lips. She never touches herself; she never really felt the need to. But at this moment, there's an urge, a hunger burning up inside her, agonizing for release. Not as painful as the start of her heat, but just as uncomfortable. She works her fingers faster and adds a second one, and she can't help but wonder if a knot would be a tighter fit than this.

Quickly, she remembers the dream she had. An Alpha with dark hair and pale skin and kind eyes. An Alpha with a deep voice that could command her to submit to him, but would rather not, because he wants _her_ to want _him_. A strong Alpha who could protect her and make her lonely nights warmer and not so lonely anymore. A sweet and kind Alpha who could truly, deeply love her without losing his life because of the curse.

Rey puts her fist into her mouth to muffle her moans before she comes. Her legs tremble with the force of her orgasm and it takes a second for her breath to come back to normal. After, she realizes she doesn't feel the least bit satisfied. A single tear escapes her eye, drifting toward her cheek and disappearing into her hair.

_I’m so lonely,_ she thinks, and immediately chides herself.

She promises herself she will never give in to these fantasies ever again. She will work toward perfecting this heat suppressant her aunties created because it’s true what she told Aunt Amilyn: she _won’t_ be at the mercy of her designation, and she won’t be controlled by her animalistic needs of being knotted and bred and mated. There's no space in her life to be some Alpha’s Omega. She wants more than that for her life. She wants to be her own self, to be the keeper of her life, the protagonist of her story.

When she closes her eyes, though, it's like the image of this faceless Alpha has been imprinted inside her eyelids, because he's all she sees and dreams about all night.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me about reylo and taylor swift on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)! 🥰💕
> 
> P.s: if you've been in the reylo fandom for long, you know we run blockchains frequently. too many antis to deal with. so, if you ever try to follow me and find yourself blocked, FEAR NOT. you must have been caught in a blockchain and i'm deeply sorry about that. but i will happily unblock you if you leave me your @ in the comments. :)


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